Busy Busy

FINALLY UPDATING :)

It is a good thought to know that I have enough free time right now to finally update my blog.

These past 3 weeks have been ridiculous.

I have officially been a teacher for 2 weeks now :) and I... LOVE IT!!!!!!!

It is the greatest reward, the hardest thing I've ever done and so worth every tear, laugh, penny, loss of sleep.... worth it all!

I had a great first day of teaching. I actually had my admin come in and observe (my first day- yikes!) and they announced at staff meeting how impressed they were with me- it was a nice feeling... but..

day 2 came haha

I cried on day 2 and 3- I didn't think i could do it anymore (sounds weird but true). I knew the first week would be hard but finding out that I had a class full of kinders who didn't speak English, who had specials needs but weren't tested yet, 32 5th graders who also had language barriers and 7th/8th graders who I wasn't sure would enjoy the "elective" they chose to be in my class.

Monday came of week 2- and I spent SO long on lesson plans, making it work well- and it paid off! Week 2 was great (had its struggles) but I pushed forward and got so many great rewards this week. I love giving the teachers a prep during my class, I love encouraging teachers by telling them growth I see in their class, and I love meeting my coworkers and making friendships.

Being a believer in my work place has been difficult, not because I can't share with the students (because I believe the love and acceptance I show to the students will speak so much louder than most things) but with my coworkers. A lot of them have asked me to hang out with them and I have been invited to a junior high teachers party next week (which I think J and I will stop by at- just to make an appearance because I do enjoy those teachers a lot) but a lot of their "hanging out" is not something that I do because it usually involves alcohol. So I am hoping that this party next week, will be ok, that I can still enjoy myself and not make a big deal about not drinking. I want them to respect me and be able to speak into their lives through that respect (not through condemnation).

I am optimistic about this year- I know it will be hard but I am keeping my head above the water and truly can say I am happy!
(not to mention we have 2 paychecks! Let the saving begin!!)

That's the scoop. Check out my class pics on my facebook :) Until next time.... :)

So many emotions...

With only 2 weeks left until my first day of teaching, emotions ran high today.

I got into my classroom today and was completely overwhelmed...

I went to begin decorating and because another teacher (the band teacher) is using my classroom for the last hour of the day, a lot of the stuff in the class was hers and there was SOO much stuff in the back storage room that overwhelmed me... I just felt as thought there was so much that with the little time I have with the students that I couldn't possibly handle it all.

I think any first year teacher feels this way... but it wasn't until today when it all became real did I really emotionally crack. I am a confident person and in my abilities as an educator and musician... but I am no longer under another teacher (whether my college professors, observing with other teachers, or my cooperating teacher from student teaching)... I AM IT and that scares the heck out of me.

When I went in to get a tour of the school last week, it shocked me how much the admin valued me. The assistant principal said to me "Amber, right after you finished your interview, we unanimously decided that you would be hired- even before we finished all the rest of the interviews." He said, "The other school that you interview for, one of their admin was at our school after you did the interview there and they asked us who we wanted to hire and I told them, Amber Hann, and they said 'darn! we so wanted her!"

Not trying to seem overly confident, but it was a GREAT reminder and assurance that they had faith in me even before I set foot in my classroom.

Well this morning after I had my break-down, Jeremiah tried his best to comfort and I love him for standing by me even when I doubt myself... I needed to get a stapler from the front office and at the EXACT moment that I walked into the work room, the principal of my school (who I had not met yet) ran into me and introduced himself and pulled the AP aside to talk with me also.

I was not crying at this point but I mentioned that I was a bit overwhelmed but that I had so many great ideas and want to do lots of programming and little concerts and they both just smiled and got so excited.

I live for programs (haha thats what I've done and been apart of since grade school) and it's my passion. So I am excited to show the school and community that this school deserves to see their students perform musically... They just want me to have a very well run classroom (management wise) and to see the results of my students' music through programs. I CAN DO THAT! :)

I am not praying enough... I need to... only God can hold me during the hard days, only He can give me total confidence in the abilities HE has given me... I can do this...

I have lots of work to do this week with lesson plans (I realized that I don't need to have all my 900 lesson plans for the year done by next week... haha I just need 50 or so... no big deal :)

well time to go to bed. Headed to the dr. tomorrow b/c I need to find out why the heck I am getting UTIs at least once a month. it's painful and it's moved to my kidneys (so my back is killing me!) I hope they can do some tests or something and find out!

Well pics of my class to come soon! It's a work in progress!

Wicked!

I am sooo excited about going to Wicked tonight! I had that soundtrack memorized right when it came out 6 years ago! My girlfriends and I would sing "Popular" while driving in the car! Such a cute, great, AMAZING musical. If you haven't heard any of the music, go to Youtube or something and listen! It is great!

Jeremiah has never seen it and my parents have a friend who could get great seats for free- so as an anniversary present they got us tickets to go with our family. We love musicals- our favorite part about Disneyland i the Aladdin musical they have (at Cali Adventure- it's like an hour long- go check it out!)

Anyway.. all that to say- we are going to get all dressed up, head to dinner with the fam and then have our minds amazed!

Pictures soon!

No longer newlyweds!

Well today marks our 1 year anniversary! I can't believe it came and went so fast!
















That day was such a blessing! Our family, friends, people around us to encourage us. Today Jeremiah surprised me with a DVD of our wedding day and reception. We have had the tapes sitting in our office area for a year and I guess he took them several weeks ago and converted them to DVD and made a whole movie out of it. It was incredible!!

So many things have happened since June 20, 2008...

an amazing honeymoon-





some great concerts-



wonderful first holidays together







some fun adventures









Long hard road of school, student teaching and... GRADUATION







This year has been wedded bliss (no pun intended). Jeremiah has treated me like a queen, he is so special to me.

We have worked so hard this year on our marriage. Working through struggles, fights, differences, time restraints, money issues, and God came through every time in the end. I doubted so many times, God revealed Himself each and every step of the way.

Jeremiah, to my wonderful husband and best friend,

You have showed me how God calls a man to lead his family. You have loved me more than I could have ever imagined. You fight for me, protect me, cuddle with me, kiss me, care about my feelings and pray for me. You have given our relationship up to Christ and He is blessing us. Thank you for reminding me daily that I am worth the love that God gives and that you give to me because of Him. I pray that we grow even more in love each day, week, month and year and that we look to God for each decision in our life. I cannot wait until the year of our marriage that we can grow our family with children and new adventures. I can't wait for another year and what amazing ways God will show up in our lives. I pray that our ministry is a reflection of our marriage and that our love is a total reflection of our relationship with God. I love you Jeremiah Richard Hann, with all of my heart. One year... 100 years... I will always love you. You are my best friend and my biggest supporter- thank you.

With all the love I have,

Your wife

Real World

The closer and closer July comes, the more nervous I get that I am actually going to get my own classroom... Everything is up to me (for the most part). I have always been so confident in my abilities but now that I am accountable to myself basically (no professors, no cooperating teacher to fall back on... just me). I stayed up late last night just thinking (worrying haha) about if I can do it.

This Thursday I go and sign my new teacher hiring paperwork to make it official. I get all my information on my salary (still unreal!), benefits, schedule and new teacher orientation (at least there will be other people in my situation. I hope that once we get back from vacation I can finally see my classroom, find out what resources and curriculum I have and get down to work with lesson plans, choir music and many ideas! I am so grateful that my mom works for a city choir so I have TONS of music at my disposal and I have so many music teacher friends who will be of great help and support. I am the only music teacher at my school (minus the band teacher who travels to a few schools) so unlike a regular classroom teacher, I don't have a team of people that are teaching the same thing, going through the same thing, so that's the hard part about being a specials teacher, you are basically it.

I know that first year teaching is "survival year" but that scares me to think that I just need to "survive." I'm sure it will be tough, rewarding, eye opening and a blessing. I just want to get ahead of myself with the 3 weeks I have before meetings start to get at least lesson plans started... I can't wait to decorate my classroom, figure out my classroom rules and meet the over 850 kids that I will need to learn their names, faces, personality, etc.

I am most nervous about my colleagues and making "friends." haha it's like high school again (making friends haha). I tend to be an introvert when I'm in new situations (not in my classroom but around people my own age or older). I don't want to isolate myself but I know it will take time for me to open up and meet others... I just pray God gives me confidence, humility and wisdom. I will definitely have to rely on God moreso than I ever thought this next year. I can't do this on my own... I can do anything with Him though! :)

This is my beautiful new home for the next year :) This school is SOOO beautiful, I can't even imagine what my classroom will look like!!

Thoughts

Sometimes I look back at my life and wonder why God has blessed me so much... honestly. It scares me to think that I have not gone through much heartache or pain in my life. I have been disappointed, heart broken, felt alone and many other "hard" times but sometimes I think, "when does the really hard stuff come... and am I ready for it?"

I see the extreme pain that people are going through, so much even this week. I know God will prepare me for it when it does hit but have I lived such an innocent life so far that when real true pain hits- will I run straight to God and know that I am ok?

So many people have been in my mind the past couple of days, some of them people I don't even really know. But I think, God must know they are ready for something this BIG- does God want me to dive deeper in His Word, draw closer to Him, pray like mad and prepare myself for tragedy that is inevitable?? YES- I don't think I take that serious enough.

I have not experienced loss like most people have (death or abandonment), I have not experienced physical pain hardly at all (haha child birth might be the first way I break myself into that haha), and have had little disappointment in my life. What is the first big thing that will come into my life and am I too naive to think that it can happen at any point. I feel almost like knocking on wood as I write this post (God forbid something does happen).

Can anyone else relate? I am so blessed and yet humbled to think that God in His infinite wisdom knows when I will be ready and will walk with me through anything. Do I take His sovereign plans seriously enough to do something about it?

God and Junior High

Have you ever just watched junior high students who like each other? (or remember the days...?)

You spent all your time thinking about them, talking about them, writing about them... but rarely any time actually TALKING to them.

I watch these relationships play out every week (seeing as though my job and ministry revolve around teenagers) and was compelled to think that that is what my relationship with God is like sometimes.

I tend to think about God a lot, write about Him in blogs, status, etc., and talk about Him a lot to students, parents, others etc.

But I was convicted to think how often to I actually talk TO God. Not as much as the others I'm afraid.

It was a big awakening to think that I think it's silly for younger students to like someone so much, think about them so much- but not EVER ACTUALLY talk to them.

Am I like that?? Too often... yes.