Monday, July 20, 2009

So many emotions...

With only 2 weeks left until my first day of teaching, emotions ran high today.

I got into my classroom today and was completely overwhelmed...

I went to begin decorating and because another teacher (the band teacher) is using my classroom for the last hour of the day, a lot of the stuff in the class was hers and there was SOO much stuff in the back storage room that overwhelmed me... I just felt as thought there was so much that with the little time I have with the students that I couldn't possibly handle it all.

I think any first year teacher feels this way... but it wasn't until today when it all became real did I really emotionally crack. I am a confident person and in my abilities as an educator and musician... but I am no longer under another teacher (whether my college professors, observing with other teachers, or my cooperating teacher from student teaching)... I AM IT and that scares the heck out of me.

When I went in to get a tour of the school last week, it shocked me how much the admin valued me. The assistant principal said to me "Amber, right after you finished your interview, we unanimously decided that you would be hired- even before we finished all the rest of the interviews." He said, "The other school that you interview for, one of their admin was at our school after you did the interview there and they asked us who we wanted to hire and I told them, Amber Hann, and they said 'darn! we so wanted her!"

Not trying to seem overly confident, but it was a GREAT reminder and assurance that they had faith in me even before I set foot in my classroom.

Well this morning after I had my break-down, Jeremiah tried his best to comfort and I love him for standing by me even when I doubt myself... I needed to get a stapler from the front office and at the EXACT moment that I walked into the work room, the principal of my school (who I had not met yet) ran into me and introduced himself and pulled the AP aside to talk with me also.

I was not crying at this point but I mentioned that I was a bit overwhelmed but that I had so many great ideas and want to do lots of programming and little concerts and they both just smiled and got so excited.

I live for programs (haha thats what I've done and been apart of since grade school) and it's my passion. So I am excited to show the school and community that this school deserves to see their students perform musically... They just want me to have a very well run classroom (management wise) and to see the results of my students' music through programs. I CAN DO THAT! :)

I am not praying enough... I need to... only God can hold me during the hard days, only He can give me total confidence in the abilities HE has given me... I can do this...

I have lots of work to do this week with lesson plans (I realized that I don't need to have all my 900 lesson plans for the year done by next week... haha I just need 50 or so... no big deal :)

well time to go to bed. Headed to the dr. tomorrow b/c I need to find out why the heck I am getting UTIs at least once a month. it's painful and it's moved to my kidneys (so my back is killing me!) I hope they can do some tests or something and find out!

Well pics of my class to come soon! It's a work in progress!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


I am sooo excited about going to Wicked tonight! I had that soundtrack memorized right when it came out 6 years ago! My girlfriends and I would sing "Popular" while driving in the car! Such a cute, great, AMAZING musical. If you haven't heard any of the music, go to Youtube or something and listen! It is great!

Jeremiah has never seen it and my parents have a friend who could get great seats for free- so as an anniversary present they got us tickets to go with our family. We love musicals- our favorite part about Disneyland i the Aladdin musical they have (at Cali Adventure- it's like an hour long- go check it out!)

Anyway.. all that to say- we are going to get all dressed up, head to dinner with the fam and then have our minds amazed!

Pictures soon!