Thoughts

Sometimes I look back at my life and wonder why God has blessed me so much... honestly. It scares me to think that I have not gone through much heartache or pain in my life. I have been disappointed, heart broken, felt alone and many other "hard" times but sometimes I think, "when does the really hard stuff come... and am I ready for it?"

I see the extreme pain that people are going through, so much even this week. I know God will prepare me for it when it does hit but have I lived such an innocent life so far that when real true pain hits- will I run straight to God and know that I am ok?

So many people have been in my mind the past couple of days, some of them people I don't even really know. But I think, God must know they are ready for something this BIG- does God want me to dive deeper in His Word, draw closer to Him, pray like mad and prepare myself for tragedy that is inevitable?? YES- I don't think I take that serious enough.

I have not experienced loss like most people have (death or abandonment), I have not experienced physical pain hardly at all (haha child birth might be the first way I break myself into that haha), and have had little disappointment in my life. What is the first big thing that will come into my life and am I too naive to think that it can happen at any point. I feel almost like knocking on wood as I write this post (God forbid something does happen).

Can anyone else relate? I am so blessed and yet humbled to think that God in His infinite wisdom knows when I will be ready and will walk with me through anything. Do I take His sovereign plans seriously enough to do something about it?